Quoted

Today, I read something by Amercan Playwright, August Wilson, and for some reason it simply stood out to me, etching its words into my heart. Wilson wrote;

    
     "Confront the dark point of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."

I read it over again a few times, and let the words soak up into me, like a dry sponge drinking up every last bit of water in a puddle, it was then I realized it was hitting close to home. When I write, it tends to exute a more sober feeling than anything else; people often ask if I am okay, and the answer to that is yes. This is my healing process; Writing is part of my healing.

We all have our own demons, some far worse than others. My demons tend to take form as trust and mistrust. I trust myself and a select few that I can count on one hand. Everyone else that falls in and aroud my life, I will keep you at a safe distance of an arms length. I don't trust people well, but I do make sure I am worthy of someone else's trust.

I may have forgiven those who've done me wrong, giving fuel to these demons that were once harbored into my soul, but its doesn't mean I let them win. It doesn't mean that they are still draining the life from me. What it does me is that I haven't forgotten what has happened. It goes back to the elementry saying "forgive, but never forget"; that is where I am.

I have predetermined myself that I will overcome the wreckage that was made of my life and begin to rebuild the foundation that makes me who I am. The angels in which surround me in my daily walk, have never had such a volume as they do now. Their rejoices only impact mine more.

The pain, I know is only temporary. It will leave every bit of me in due time, as I have to allow myself to heal, and heal wholly. I will walk away from this fire, untouched, unscathed, clean, refreshed, and whole.

I have declared myself a strong woman, because I choose to win this battle each and every day.