Any reminder of you, makes me want to light it afire and watch it burn. I have done it to so many now already, watching them turn to ash, I only wish the memory in my brain would too.
I truly never thought that this sort of feeling was possible for me, because I am so against the word “hate” but I have conquered that mountain in myself. I know what it is to feel it, and live it. I hate you. Its simple. I wish nothing to be a part of you, and unfortunately there is something so innocent and precious in my life that you aren’t worthy of, in which ties you to me. If only I could cut all ties. If only. Its not like it would make any difference to you.
The anger wells up inside my mind, and there is stays. I do not lash out at anything or anyone, because its not theirs to be felt. Its yours. One day, I know, it is not me that will convict you for the things you have done. Though as for now, you’re getting away with it. God works in a way that we do not understand, and ultimately it is Him who decides.
Contradicting much? Using “hate” and God in the same passage? I am not perfect. I am not a perfect Christian, but the feeling I have for you, sums itself up in the word “Hate”. I pray for forgiveness for possessing such a feeling, as I know we should not hate. But that is the least of it.
I watch myself climb, and grow greater, more successful and happier on this path, and I look down, and there you. No more rear view mirrors here.. Not looking back ever again. The past is the past, and I won’t return, because nothing about it is appealing. The though did cross my mind a time or two, for the simple well being of something to precious, but time proved that too, with the support and love provided nothing changed without you there, just made it better. Happier. Safer.
Hate, by definition;
To dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for.
Who needs a definition really, when you feel it in every being of who you are?
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