Forgiving does not erase the the bitter past. It does not replace, nor forget it either. If you will, it provides a foundation of hope, to grow from; To move upward from, and hopefully provide a new ideal of what should be. The past should stay right there, in the past, for you can not change those events; no matter how hard you try. All that matters, is how you take those experiences and choose to learn from them, letting those lessons guide you into changing what can come in the future, and affecting the way that you will provide and handle it.
A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Even in memory, those feelings are still real, and are still as fresh as they were the day it happened. Do not dismiss them, as bigger issues may arise from the inconsiderations. Though, at the same time, do not tiptoe around them either. This is a part of life, recognizing the problem, and working forth to resolve it. This process should be taken slow, and one day at a time. All people heal differently, and their time frame may be completely off from mine, but to me, nothing is better than ensuring that you are healing wholly and not just dismissing the hurt and stuffing it inside.
Instead of forgiving what we cannot forget, we create a new way of remembering. We take that memory from our past, and use it as motivation for our future. We reassure ourselves that there's more to this beautiful diaster of life. "Good things come to those who wait", ring a bell? Patience and dealing with these things will result in good, it will come in its own time.
No matter how far off the pedastol one falls, they'll deserve a second chance. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts God has fiven to us, and with it comes understanding.
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